Saturday, February 03, 2007

Twinkle Twinkle Little Stars

Take a quick glance of the night sky, and you see a mass of darkness.
Take another closer look of the night sky, and you'll see the tapestry of beauty.

Your heart moves, skips a beat, your breath loses its momentum. You never knew the sky could have so many stars. You're in awe.
And that's why I'm here again.


This week, I did 2 camps simultaneously. As nerve-wrecking as it was, I managed to survive it and it wasn't all that bad really. Whilst most have the tendency to go on and on and on about what went on in the camps in a mindless and totally boring fashion, I'll be trying my best to steer away from that course because, as I've said somewhere else, life is about moments. And here I am, guiding your hand into one of those memorable moments in my life.

I first met Sara on Monday. While she didn't inflict much of an impression on me, what struck me most distinctively was her sheer arrogance as if the world revolved around her - a myth that has been debunked centuries ago har har. All in all, she was the epitome of an A-Grade school's student.
You take a quick glance of the night sky.

But things changed from the minute we reached campsite. While stubbornly refusing to abandon that mask of arrogance, she attempted to increase contact with me. Not only did she began cajoling me, she was getting physical - lying her head on my shoulder, putting her arms around me and what not. For a 11 yrs old girl, is that some serious shit or what? My impression of her was dropped as fast as her switch in attitude, because who the fuck would imagine a friggin arrogant bitch who wouldn't care about anybody else but herself to throw herself all of a sudden at you, in ways not even women of my age would think of attempting. You'd say the society has changed, kids are different now. But I'd say that all I say was a mass of darkness.

As things failed to take a change for the better, I started to lose my nerve. To compound it all, she walked towards me during lunch on the 2nd day with those eyes that stared at fixatedly, commanded with that tone and said:
"Ivan, I want to talk to you after dinner."

And so we did. But this was not before I told my buddy, Hakim about this problem I'm facing:

I: Alright Sara, I think we need to talk, because I believe you have something to tell me.
< Silence for 2 mins or so, and Sara begins to cry. >
I: Ok look, if you cry, I can't help you. If you keep crying, I can't hear you. If I can't hear you, I cannot understand what you want to urgently tell me, and I won't know what's wrong. So please, hush, hush.
< Crying subsides, but does not stop. >
I: Ok Sara, firstly do you trust me? Ok good, so you will listen to what I have to say? Cools. Right now, I need you to close your eyes and think of nothing at all okay? When you're ready to talk, let me know.
< She follows my instructions, and this goes on for 30mins or so, with me staring at her throughout the entire period. >
I: Ok Sara, you ready to talk?

Yes she was, she always was. And this is her story:

I have one elder brother and one elder sister. One is JC2 and the other is Sec. 4. They always beat me and hit me and scold me and call me names. I dunno why but they just hit me very hard here *points on her skull*. I know I irritate them because they say so, but I really don't know what I did to irritate them. And when I tell my mummy and daddy about it, they scold me, say they are right because they are older than me. And I must listen to my 'che che' and 'kor kor' because mummy and daddy is very busy making money for all of us in the family. No matter what I say, they will never listen to me. Instead, they start to get angry with me, and beat me too. Then I will see my brother and sister from the corner of my eye laughing at me.

You take a closer look at the night sky...

Not long after I sent Sara to see her teacher, Hakim, my buddy, came and talked to me. And this is what he said:

Dude, this kid is depressed. I know because I spoke to her before you did, and she doesn't like like you, but she likes you because she said there was never anybody to care for her at home or elsewhere. Now she doesn't want to go home cause she thinks she can't find anybody like you.

And you'll see the tapestry of beauty.

Your heart moves, skips a beat, your breath loses its momentum. You never knew the sky could have so many stars. You're in awe.
And that's why I'm here again.

posted@6:59 AM

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